My Year Long Secret

No one talks about how freeing honesty is.

 

For 12 months, I kept a secret at work.

 

I hated my job.

 

Not HATED hated.

 

 

Typical ✨doctor life✨

 

At my peak, I just felt like a fraud, I was showing up to work pretending I was okay.

 

Whenever someone would ask ‘What are you going to specialise in?’

 

I would lie that I wanted to go into GP training and how passionate I was about elderly medicine.

 

 

Why would I want to spend 3 more years doing the exact thing I hated.

 

I just I just said it to get seniors and consultants off my back.

 

But deep down, I wasn’t enjoying it.

 

 

I finally told someone how I was feeling.

 

I reached out to a close colleague to grab lunch.

 

I worked up the courage to tell her, “I kinda hate my job”

 

I was convinced she would give me a look of horror.

 

But to my surprise she felt the same.

 

She said “Oh my god, me too.”

 

The relief. 😮💨😮💨

 

It was like a weight was lifted.

 

We ended up spending 45 minutes just talking about our struggles.

 

It felt like therapy.

 

This led me to opening up even more.

 

Not trauma dumping, but simply telling the truth.

 

And shock - turns out there are dozens of doctors that lowkey have their jobs.

 

✨ I'm not alone ✨

 

Honesty gave me the freedom to stop pretending.

 

And it’s contagious.

 

When you’re honest and open, it gives someone permission to do the same.

I know you’re thinking, okay, so are you going to quit your job?

 

Probably.

 

I just don’t know when.

 

Once I have a solid plan in place for my business, I’ll feel more confident taking the leap.

 

I’m entering my LinkedIn era, to get my first few clients, and I have a few calls booked! I just need to keep up the momentum. 

 

This is your friendly reminder, that the longer you keep pretending, the longer you’ll feel alone.

 

Honesty will set you free.

 

And your honesty could set someone else free too 🌱